Hey y'all,
So, my family is going to the beach in two days. Whoop! The average person would probably be so excited for this. However, I have been the recipient of about twenty extra pounds to my body (almost all in one year). I have always been weight conscious and exercised regularly, but about a year and a half ago I had to be put on some medication that caused me to gain weight at an unusual pace. If you have read many of my posts, you are probably aware of my self image issues from my past. Even with my new found confidence and love for my body, the beach poses a whole new line of insecurities.
I have never been a fan of swim suits, because let's be honest, they are just absolutely unforgiving to the woman's body. They are created to be form fitting and show every curve and dimple. Not to mention the way they suction to your body, like the scream machine suctioned to Mike's mouth in Monster's Inc., when they get wet.
My family and I take precautions to be modest at the beach as we do in all walks of life. I typically wear board shorts that are just above my knees and a tank top to cover any cleavage if I bend over or run. (I tend to turn into an 8 year old at the beach and have no regard for fashion or making sure I am "sitting properly".) This year, as I tried on my swim suit, adorable board shorts, and tanks from last year I had a crying session as I realized not one article fit my body. After my pity party, I made it my mission to find a swim suit I absolutely love and feel gorgeous in, no matter the price. It was worth it to me. The process was long and taxing, but I finally found one, and guess where I found it. Wal*Mart! Yep, I only paid $12 for that sucker, and I feel glamorous in it.
I decided to allow myself to have fun at the beach. Originally, I was prepared to be self conscious the whole time, because I have made some drastic body changes this year. Also, if you know my sisters and mom, you know they are totally cute and fit, so the insecurities come out even stronger when I am photographed with them. Nevertheless, I decided I would rock my swim wear, rock my time at the beach, and have the most fun of all the people there. I am so grateful I get to have this time with my family, and I refuse to allow my mind to be filled with negative self talk and ruin my trip. I continually pray for strength and love for myself, and have even asked my family to aid me when I am struggling. They are pretty great at that. They are some of the most caring and sympathetic people I have met in my time on this earth.
I always preach positive self talk, positive self talk, positive self talk to every woman or girl I spend time with, and now I am getting the chance to take my own advice in a triggering position. Mentally preparing for the beach is not an easy task for me, but I am thankful I have such a loving and caring God to give me strength and a family to back me at all times.
Let's do this!
Sincerely,
Miss
