Over the past few years, I have compiled a list of attributes I am seeking in a relationship. I know, I know, everyone has a list. Tall, dark, and handsome. My list isn't so much a list of physical attributes as it is personality and life choices. As I am in my single time, I will remain single and wait until I find a man that has these qualities.
1. He is a believer of God. This is absolutely a non-negotiable for me. I want to be able to share my faith with my husband. I believe that, as the woman, I will be submissive to my husband (Colossians 3:18). I would not be able to submit to him fully in all areas of our lives if he did not believe in God. I do not want to battle with my husband on the most important aspect of my life, and I do not want to cause an confusion for my kids or disdain for them with God. I believe marriage should be a unity between two believers (2 Corinthians 6:14 what is a stronger bondage or yoking than a marriage?), so they can glorify God together.
2. He loves God more than anyone or anything. I want my husband to put God before me, his family, and any material possessions (Matthew 22:37). If we love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind, that doesn't really allow room for anything else to come first. If we love God above all else, we will obey what He has commanded (John 14:15), which means I can safely and lovingly submit to my husband and trust he will love and take care of me.
3. He has a good relationship with his parents and siblings. I want my husband to have a good relationship with his family, because the relationship he holds with them is a precursor to the relationship he will hold with me and our children (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3). Obviously, he can't control his family and the relationship if his family isn't willing, and I would not hold this against a man. But he can control how he treats them. I have always been told, "Watch how a man treats his mother, because this is how he will treat you." I want to be treated with love and respect, and I think a man learns how to treat a woman by the relationship he has with his own mother. I think it shows maturity when a man or woman can have a close relationship with his/her siblings (1 John 4:20).
4. He is positive and able to find good in situations that are not ideal. I want to marry someone that has a positive outlook on life. Nobody is positive all the time, but I want him to be able to see good in situations (Philippians 4:11). Someone that focuses on the good in a situation rather than the bad is uplifting; it can be disheartening to be around someone that is negative all the time (Philippians 2:14; Colossians 3:15). As the spiritual leader of my home, I want my husband to be uplifting and positive.
5. He is willing to serve. I want my husband to be willing to use his talents to serve God. If my husband is willing to serve, one day my children will see this and be eager to serve as well. (I once begged and cried to lead a song during worship because my dad always did. I was not granted my wish, but I had the desire to because my daddy was willing to.) It is important to be willing to serve so we do not become complacent. A complacent Christian is not a growing Christian.
6. He sings during worship services. I want a husband that will sing praises to the Lord (Ephesians 5:19-20; Colossians 3:16). We don't have to sing perfectly, we just have to sing from our hearts. I want my children to be able to sing praises with their mom and dad like I have been able to do my whole life. That has been an important part of my walk with God.
7. He has a heart for missions. This is important to me, because my heart lies so deeply with missions and serving. I want to be able to continue my work in Nicaragua throughout the rest of my life, and I want my husband to be there with me (Acts 20:35, Colossians 3:23).
8. He stores his treasures in heaven, not on earth. I do not want to marry a materialistic man. Treasures and materials on earth will never leave this earth (Hebrews 13:5). They are bound to earth, unlike us. We will leave one day. Whether we go to Heaven or Hell, we will not be with all our material possessions in the end. Things are fun, but when things come before God there is a real issue (I John 2:15). I want to marry a man that stores his heart and treasures in Heaven with God (Matthew 6:19).
9. He is careful of his entertainment choices. I want my husband to be careful of his entertainment choices, because what we watch or listen to becomes engraved in our brains (I Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3; Ephesians 4:29). If ungodly images or words are in our thoughts, God knows that. He knows what is on our thoughts and in our hearts. If we choose to have worldly entertainment, we will have worldly ways and thoughts, and we are not to be of this world.
10. He respects my parents and siblings and puts effort into building relationships with them. My parents are important to me. I know that when I get married I will leave my parents and become one with my husband (Genesis 2:24), but my parents are still going to remain important to me. I want my husband to respect them. I know there will be differences and disagreements, but through that I want the respect to remain in tact. Any man that is going to be with me must show effort in getting to know my sisters. Period. They are my two favorite people on this earth, and if he has no interest in meeting them or knowing them then that's a deal breaker for me.
11. He wants me to be a stay at home mom. I have strongly believed in being a stay at home mom since I was a small child. I do not want another human raising my children for me. That is my job; they were given to me. I believe that, if I become a mom, it will be my duty to raise my children and teach them about God from day one. I want to be a mommy to them before I am a career woman. I want to build their foundation in the Lord while they are young and growing (Titus 2:2-5).
12. He guards his purity and is willing to guard mine. I want to a man that guards his purity during the dating stage of a relationship. The Bible is clear that impurity before marriage is sinful (Hebrews 13:4; Ephesians 5:3), and I don't want to worry about this with the man I am with. I don't want to toe the line of what is impure; I want to have a clearly defined, pure relationship.
13. He prays with me and for me. Prayer is an intimate connection with God. This is how we talk to Him. I want to be able to pray to Him with my husband, and I want him to pray for me. I want him to talk to God about me. I think one of the best ways to show someone you love them, is to pray for them. I want my husband to be comfortable opening up with me and allowing me to be a part of his prayer life (Galatians 6:2; James 5:12).
Obviously, I don't know exactly what I am doing. I mean, I am 24 and still single, but these are important to me. I am willing to remain single until I find a man that has these qualities.
Sincerely,
Miss
