Yesterday, my kids took the writing STAAR for 7th grade. They have been preparing for this all year. They have taken numerous practice tests, written dozens of essays, learned the TEKS, and worked their tails off preparing for this test. My students, overall, are not on level. I am at a school that is 85% low SES and with that comes low parent involvement. Low parent involvement comes from many reasons, but many times when a family is low income both parents must work resulting in less free time for them to be involved at the school. Understandable. Parents must provide for their babies. However, because of low parent involvement our kids show low student motivation. I say all this to explain where my kids are in their schooling and preparation for testing.
My kiddos understand how important the STAAR is for them. Failure results in being retained. No seventh grader wants to remain in seventh grade as their friends advance to eighth grade. They want to pass these exams terribly. I love my kids and want nothing more than to see them succeed. They are smart individuals, but they have, what I like to call, learned helplessness. They have learned how to be helpless and have gotten so used to failing that they don't know how to motivate themselves and try. That's what I'm here for. That's what all my co-workers are here for. We push them daily and give them high expectations. In my classroom, they usually meet my expectations (with much whining). They are quite capable, they just don't believe it.
I know they can pass their test. My coworkers know they can pass, but my kids don't know that. They are terrified of this test. They are so tired of failing and not feeling good enough, but it's what they have come to expect of themselves. I tell my kids, everyday, that they are capable and smart, but for every time I tell them that, they tell themselves they are stupid 10 more times.
As a result, as they went into this test, they were terrified. Many of them walked into it expecting to not be good enough. They expected to choke.
After the test, I had a conversation with a repeat seventh grader who has become one of my favorites. The conversation went something like this:
Student: "Miss, that test was hard!"
Me: "Hun, I am sure you did fine. Did you do your best?"
Student: "yeah but it was too hard. I know I choked, miss. When I was on number 7 I looked and everyone else was on 18!"
Me: "That is okay! You don't have to be the fastest, you just have to do your best."
Student: "Miss, it was too hard! I been passing all those practice tests, and I know I choked on this one."
This conversation really bothered me. He has prepared for this. He knows the information. He can pass this, but he walked out believing he choked. I have to question if standardized testing is really how we want our kids view success. Obviously, we need to know they are learning and growing each year, but standardized testing after differentiated instruction seems pointless. As an educator, I am required to differentiate all my lessons. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, this simply means I must be able to teach my advanced kids without giving them time to get bored, my on level kids, my low kids without leaving them behind, and my kids that don't speak English without blowing past them. This is all during one lesson. All four types of students are in one class, learning at the same time. On top of that, I have to be able to differentiate for dyslexia, ADD and ADHD, gifted and talented thinkers, and a number of other learning differences. ALL DURING THE SAME LESSON. Simple right? I am happy to do this. I think it is most beneficial, and I will do anything I can to help every single student in the best way possible. But seriously? I'm differentiating my instruction to teach how they can learn, and then have to test them all the exact same? Come on! That's bologna.
So, after all my differentiated instruction all year, my preparations to help each child learn in his/her way, and all my efforts to help each student to see his/her own worth and capabilities, I am then forced to send them into a standardized test with a feeble "better not choke". (Disclaimer: I have never actually said that to a student)
Sincerely,
Miss
