Over the past few years I have loved spending time in the classroom. I always try to keep a log of the funny conversations I've had; I decided to compile a list of some of my favorite conversations. Enjoy!
1.
Student: *while reading a passage out loud in class, stops in the middle of a sentence, looks at me, and says, "miss, I just let out some gas and it stanky!"
2.
Me: "why are you out of your seat again?"
Student: "I have adfdh"
3.
Student: "how many of them states do Oklahoma got?"
Me: "states? Just the one"
Student: "oh"
Me: "If you meant counties, I'm not sure. Less than Texas. Texas is one of the largest states."
Student: "what's larger?"
Me: "Alaska, but it has less people."
Student: "whoa! I thought Russia was the biggest!"
4.
Me: "watcha eating today?"
Student: "I don't really know."
Me: "hmmmm, looks like chicken strips"
Student: "yeah, well it tastes like fish."
5.
Student: "Miss, will you protect my egg?"
6.
Student: "miss I know what year you were born."
Me: "yeah?"
Student: "um.....19........um.......1933?"
6.
Student: "miss you got makeup on?"
Me: "I do."
Student: "I can tell, your eyebrows are dark!"
Me: "that's the only place I don't have makeup. My eyebrows are just really dark."
Student: "Na, you're messin"
Me: "No, really, I promise they've always been way too dark for my face."
Student: "no way"
Me: "Try to rub them off"
Student: "Okay!" *rubs my eyebrows and his eyes get really big. "Oh"
7.
Student: *turns in paper with fresh booger attached*
8.
Me: "alright"
Every student: "alright, alright, alright!"
9.
Student: "Miss, you messed up?!?!?"
Me: "I sure did, because I'm human. Have you ever messed up?"
Student: "Well, yeah."
Me: "oh good! Then I am hopeful we will both survive this disaster!"
10.
Student: "Miss, you have a black heart and you're so mean! I hate you! No one can ever hurt your feelings because your heart is just black!"
Same student 15 minutes later: "miss you're so nice."
11.
Student: "Miss, how you get them scissors to cut."
Me: "They teach you how to use bad scissors in teacher school."
Student: "oh!"
12.
Student: "Miss, you look like you got in a fight!"
13.
Me: "wow, you just drew the best kidney I've seen all day."
Student: "thanks"
I walk to another group and make my way back to her
Student: "Miss, turns out we have two kidneys!"
14.
Student: "Miss, why your hair look like that?"
Me: "Like what?"
Student: "Like not all the same. Not straight."
Me: "what do you mean?"
Student: "Like some is long and some is short. If it was my hair I would have it all the same."
Me: "That's my layers. I asked them to cut it that way so I could style it."
Student: "You wanted it like that?!"
Me: "Yes, and I like it."
Student: "oh, wow"
15.
Student: "Miss, why you always be dressing like that?"
Me: "This are the clothes I own so this is what I wear."
Student: "you be looking like an old lady."
16.
Me: "the average person farts 14 times a day."
Student: "well, I am NOT average!"
Me: "oh? Are you above average?"
Student: "yes!"
17.
Student: "WHOA MISS! You got makeup on today?!?!?!"
18.
Male student: "Miss, where is my uterus?"
19.
Me: Good morning, hun."
Student: "Miss, there is no such thing as a good morning. The day is only good if you wake up for dinner then go back to bed."
20.
Student: "Miss, you got a boyfriend?"
Me: "Nope"
Student: "a husband?"
Me: "nope"
Student: "what?! Why?!"
Another student: "She be taking care of her own self! Paying her own bills!"
Me: "yeah!" 💪🏾👊🏼
21.
Student: "my daddy told me if a girl has an Addams apple to run away!"
22.
Student: "miss, why you look like you dressed from the 80s?"
Me: "Do I?"
Student: "yeah, miss, you always be looking like you from the 80s."
23.
Tiny male student: "Miss, he said he's faster than me, but I'm way bigger and stronger!" *puffs out chest*
24.
Student: "Wow, miss, you are so loud when you teach!"
Me: "it's so you have to listen and can't ignore me"
Student: "ohhhh"
25.
Student: "you can't expect us to be mature. We're only 12. We'll probably be mature when we're 15."
Me: "why when you're 15?"
Student: "Because when we're 15 we will almost be 16 and we can drive."
Me: "oh driving makes you mature?"
Student: "well, yeah."
26.
Student: "miss, me and him be gettin all them 9th grade girls"
Me: *laughing* "oh yeah?"
Student: "yeah, miss, why you don't be believing me?"
27.
Student: "I just cannot believe you don't have a boyfriend!"
Me: "Why?"
Student: "Because your old......er."
Me: "ehhhh I'm too bossy for a boyfriend."
Student: "well, we all have to deal with a bossy woman sooner or later."
28.
Student: "your name is Chelsi?"
Me: "mhm"
Student: "wow! I thought you were like a Helen or something."
29.
Student: "you know what?"
Me: "No, what?"
Student: "This girl in 6th grade is dating a boy in 4th grade!"
Me: "Oh really?"
Student: "yeah! Isn't that disgusting? He JUST turned 10!"
30.
Student: "miss, do you have a dog?"
Me: "yes!!!"
Student: "oh, I can tell. You have hair all over you."
31.
Student: "That is lit!"
Me: "what?"
Student: "that's lit...."
Me: "I don't see anything lit up. The lights are off."
Student: "what?"
Me: "what?"
All students: "hahaha you don't know what lit means?!"
Me: "Well, stop laughing at me and tell me!"
Students: "you know, like legit except lit!"
32.
Student: "If I don't play in the NBA, I'm going to be a body builder! Check out my muscles they're huge!" *flexes spaghetti arms*
33.
Student: "Look, miss, I'm creating my own language."
Me: "wow! I hope you write a book one day so I can read it!"
Student: "Oh I will. It will probably be when I'm in astronaut school."
34.
Same day- two different kids
Student: "miss, you're so beautiful"
Student: "miss your face is really red again!"
Me: "my makeup must not be doing its job"
Student: "no it isn't"
35.
Student: "miss, how do puppies get in the mom's belly?"
Me: .....
Student: "Don't you know?"
Me: "Yes"
Student: "Then how?"
Me: "Actually I can't tell you because I'm not a real teacher yet."
Student: "oh okay."
36.
Student: "Wow, miss, I'm glad you finally got more makeup today."
37.
Student: "You must have had good coffee this morning. I can smell it on your breath."
38.
Me: "Can you jump rope well?"
Student: "Yeah! I could probably do it 10 out of 2 times."
39.
First grader: "miss I need to tell you a secret."
Me: "okay what?"
Student: *whispers in my ear* "If there is any candy left, can I have it?"
40.
Student: "Did you know 3rd graders are faster than 5th graders!"
Me: "Really?"
Student: "Well, 5th graders are bigger than 3rd graders so 3rd graders are faster."
